One of these days I’ll be responsible with my shit lol. I’m still at my office job, gotten much better at it. I even got a raise after a year, and paid vacation time (two weeks!). Sean and I have managed not to kill each other for…almost two and a half years. I’ve become obsessed with tea, I’ve gained probably ten pounds, and life is quite normal.
I don’t even remember why I decided to do this post in the first place. But I do know I’m failing to do my work today.
In other news. My favorite two cartoons as a kid were Sailor Moon (the American version) and Cardcaptors (also the American version, not to be confused with the original Cardcaptor Sakura). I found a place to watch both shows, which is overly exciting because I haven’t seen either since I was a kid and now when I come home I have something else to do besides whine about Sean playing his stupid video games (I’ll get to THAT later lol).
Sean has now fallen into the rhythm of coming home from work and playing his PlayStation to unwind from his day. I honestly have no idea where it all came from, his playing almost every day of the week. He used to come home and cook, or do dishes like I used to when I was home first. Now it’s all about the PlayStation. I had to tell myself that it’s perfectly okay for him to play and I shouldn’t be so annoyed about it. I still get annoyed about it when I have to come home and see a nasty ass kitchen, but I realized that all I have to do is communicate lol. I’m starting to get over it though, because we all have various ways of unwinding after being in the office. Mine usually is cooking or doing the dishes, because I hate having to look at them when I come home. But he’s gotten better at it, and doesn’t play all the time. And sometimes if he wants to spend time with me he just logs off shortly after I arrive home which is sweet. But I understand why he feels like he shouldn’t play because we’ve gotten into arguments about it where I bitch to him about it. Then there are days where I’m like “If you wanna play then just play, I’ll find something else to do.” I keep flip-flopping. But then I realized if I find something else to do I actually care much less.
I’m trying to be better about just being nicer when I’m angry at him. I want to be better at communication general. We’ve been through a lot the past year. Counseling, fights at Wells Fargo Center (and Lincoln Financial Field), and me thinking that maybe we aren’t meant to be together because we aren’t that compatible. I still think that a lot, when we get into fights. And I don’t think it’s me copping out. I think it’s me sensing how good we are when we’re good. But how bad it can get when it’s bad. I don’t know. Only time will tell.
Now I have to go back to work, if i expect to finish by 4 to clean the office and leave by 5.